Thanks Earl

My stories are all out there, and sometimes hard to believe but they are all true. This next one is really out there and I can't even believe it happened this way but as far as I can remember this is how it went. . . .

Which leads me into my blog. . .

It was my boy's girlfriends birthday and we went to posh or mirage, one of those Long Island spots. Now mind you I'm from Manhattan. That day I also had plans but I promised to make it. Now whenever I sleep in Long Island my boy always has a couch for me. But this time i could not sleep over, I had to get back to pick up my father from the airport the next day. Whatev back to the story.

So I was at a bar before I had to catch my train to Mineola or where ever I was going. I had already been drinking before I got on my train and then I notice these cool beer stands on the LIRR platform that sell beer and I notice that people are taking the beer on the train with them so I do the only reasonable thing, buy 2 24oz Coors light cans and pound them by the time I get off the train.

Now I'm outta the train and getting into a cab that is taking me to Mirage, I remember now. My friends are already there at their VIP table with bottles and all that fun stuff. Drunk me decides to buy a drink before I even say happy birthday to the birthday girl. I purchase a red devil. Not the best choice I could have made but nonetheless my choice.

"HAPPPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!" - me
"Bro have a drink , I got Grey Goose and Absolute what you want?"- Friend
" Ummm let me finish mine first then I'll have Goose with Oj and Cran"-Me
5 minutes later
"Here ya go bro. . ."-Friend

So now I've drank my Red Devil , which is equivalent to a Long Island Ice Tea in about 5 minutes. My boy is handing me the new drink and while all this I'm trying to dance with a tall blonde. Another friend at the party is like "Vic lets do a lap", I'm like Fuck yea man I've feeeeeeeling gooooood.

As we "take a lap" I bump into a friend from work in another VIP section. I join him and start drinking his Vodka's and beers and whatnot.

I dunno how much time passes but at some point something in my head triggers that its time to go. As I recall someone put their coat on so I did the common sense thing, Go Get My Coat . . . From coat check. The rest is a blurrrr

NEXT I KNOW. . . .

I wake up in the passenger seat of a 33 year old black guy named Earl. Which is a tad bit drunk as well because he keeps asking me how'd I get in his car as he's driving out of the parking lot. For about 20 minutes I think this guy is going to take me to the train station I think he's one of the friends I was just hanging out with. He's just as confused as I am. I'm now fucking really confused. I'm saying to myself , out loud, " Wait. . . . so your saying you don't know me? You don't know (friends name), or (friends name). You weren't here for (NAME)'s party? " He replies "NO!" Now we are on some highway driving somewhere. (slow. shifty. eyes.) "So your saying I came out of Mirage. Tried some doors. Opened yours and fell asleep. IN. It?"

"Yea man who the fuck are you!?"-Earl

So after a while I sober up. I tell him I can't believe this happened. This is nuts. I plead with him to take me back to Manhattan and he says that its really far. Which it is. I tell him I'll pay for gas. So we fill up. Then he says he has to go home. When we are there his cousin or brother tries to sell me some bootleg dvd's and then Earl asks me if I smoke. I say hell yea. So he gets a bag from the DvD guy.

Leaving the house we take another car. He tells me we need a dutch and I need to gas up this car too. I have no other choice so I do it. We go to the gas station and I buy a philly and insert my card to fill up the car.

We smoke the blunt of bad weed all the way back to the city, as the sun comes up. We pass Shea Stadium and I go " I LOVE THE METS!" He replies "I'm a Yankee Fan" . Fucking Earl. I pay the toll. He drops me off at home. I take his Nextel Beep and went upstairs. Only to get my car keys to drive to JFK to pick up my Dad.

CRAZY FUCKING NIGHT! My friends didn't even call me that night. My phone died that night and when I got home I went straight to bed. When I woke up I had texts and voicemails from my friends wondering what happened to me. I told them what happened and to this day they crack up.

Tiz My Life. . .

p.s I dont ProofREAD shit!